Man doesn’t want to pay alimony to ex-husband

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March 30, 2007

Anonymous The Weatherford Democrat Fri Mar 30, 2007, 03:09 PM CDT

It isn’t unusual for ex-spouses to return to court years after a split to fine-tune divorce decrees.

Things change and need to be taken into account. Income, expenses and locations all evolve.

But one couple in Florida may have taken the cake when it comes to the reason for returning to court.

According to The Associated Press, Lawrence Roach would like a judge to end the $1,250 monthly alimony payments to his ex-wife, Julia.

The pair split in 2004 after 18 years of marriage, followed by Julia’s sex change operation.

No wonder the marriage failed.

That’s right, the former Mrs. Roach, which would be a bad enough name, has had additional equipment installed and changed her, er, his name to Julio Roberto Silverwolf.

I know it’s true. Nobody could make that up.

Roach and his lawyer argued in a Clearwater courtroom that, since it is illegal for a man to be married to a man, it should likewise be illegal for a man to pay alimony to a man.

“When she changed to a man,” attorney John McGuire said, “I believe she terminated that alimony.”

The worst part is Roach now has an ex-husband.

The newly minted Mr. Silverfish, er, Silverwolf, did not appear in court and has declined to discuss the couple’s divorce.

I’ll bet neither of them want to discuss it.

You know Roach had to be a little suspicious when he was married to his then mate.

Not only was she constantly using his shave cream and razor, she was using it on her face. She was also overheard by female friends saying disparaging things about Oprah, and she had, on more than one occasion borrowed his bike — the one with the bar.

He had to wonder.

Silverbird’s, sorry, Silverwolf’s lawyer, Gregory Nevins, says his client’s altered state does not change the divorce decree.

According to Nevins, an attorney for Lambda Legal, a national gay rights group, the only legal ways for Roach to keep from paying court-ordered alimony are for Julia, er, Julio to die or remarry.

“Those two things haven’t happened,” Nevins said.

Circuit Judge Jack St. Arnold said the case takes the judicial system into murky water. The only precedent found thus far is a 2004 Ohio case that addressed whether or not a transsexual could still get spousal support after gender-swapping.

“There’s not a lot to help us,” St. Arnold said.

So, I guess it just boils down to using common sense.

Right, the words, “common sense,” “court ruling” and “transsexual” all in the same sentence, supposedly said with a straight face.

And, apparently there are those who want it to get worse.

Not only are we adding and subtracting human parts like some sort of biological LEGO set, now some folks want the government involved.

Yep, another attorney in the case, John Smitten (I know, Roach, Silverwolf and Smitten, all in the same weird story) apparently doesn’t have a lot of confidence in judges’ decision-making in cases involving hes that used to be shes and vice-versa.

“It’s probably something that needs to be addressed by the Legislature,” Smitten said.

That cinches it.

It’s gonna get weirder.

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Man doesn’t want to pay alimony to ex-husband

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