Pistol-packin’ grandma foils burglary

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August 23, 2008

Phil Riddle, Democrat Editor

Anonymous The Weatherford Democrat Sat Aug 23, 2008, 03:40 PM CDT

Crooks always seem to prey on the weak.

You rarely hear of a thug trying to lift the wallet of an NFL lineman.

But it’s pretty frequent punks will target the elderly.

Keep this story in mind, all you lawbreakers who look for AARP notices in mailboxes to set up your next victim.

It seems a 17-year-old wanna-be criminal broke into the home of an 85-year-old woman in Pennsylvania. But instead of bullying her into giving up cash, jewelry, electronics or family treasures, he wound up turning himself in to police while sweating on the wrong end of a pistol.

According to the Associated Press, Leda Smith heard someone break into her home near Pittsburgh, so she grabbed the spanking new .22-caliber revolver she had next to her bed. She had bought the gun after a neighbor’s home was burglarized recently.

Smith said she came upon the intruder and asked, “What are you doing in my house?” The octogenarian gunslinger reported the young man was frightened and kept repeating “I didn’t do it.”

She held the boy at gunpoint and made him call 9-1-1, then kept him under guard until the state police arrived.

Wouldn’t it have been great if she’d had a little senior citizen fun with the lawbreaker?

Maybe feigning dementia and calling him the name of a past lover who had scorned her.

“Teddy Roosevelt, do you think just because we spent those nights together in Cuba you can just waltz in here any time you please? I’ve a mind to shoot you in your black heart.”

Whereupon she levels the pistol at the terrified teenaged miscreant and begins laughing hysterically, maybe even firing a warning shot over his head, then yelling, “You’re not a Rough Rider now, are you?”

The embarrassed crook was not identified because of his age. Authorities say he’ll be charged in juvenile court with attempted burglary and related offenses.

Smith may have gotten a little too excited about the incident.

“It was exciting,” she said. “I just hope I broke up the burglary ring, because they have been hitting a lot of places around here.”

Unconfirmed reports have the pistol-toting grandma patrolling the neighborhood on her Hoveround late at night wearing a chenille bathrobe, a leather shoulder holster and a red beret and muttering, “Make my day,” under her breath.

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The Air Force Academy recently graduated their first openly gay cadets. What does this signify?

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