Some things we should get out of the way:

I am clearly writing this because I want my sweet Christian grandmother to hate me. Because of my employment as a newspaper reporter for a small-town daily, I am clearly a member of the “media elite.” Because I spent my childhood in Southern California, I am clearly not the Texas conservative I claim to be. I must want my son to grow up and be gay, and I obviously support the growth of all things evil in America.

Good, that’s settled. Now you don’t have to call and leave those nuggets of wisdom on my voice mail.

I honestly believe conservative Christians are responsible for the “militant gay uprising” they so passionately battle against. I also believe if more measures like the recently passed options in California, Florida, Arkansas and Arizona are to become law, conservative Christians will ultimately rue the day they caused such a fuss. I’m going to do my best to explain why I believe this to be true.

Any time you try to hold something under your thumb, it squirts out the sides. Just look at the spread of Christianity itself in countries where the religion is heavily persecuted. The more pressed down something is, the more likely it is to run over. And yet, for all the evidence that shows how stupid it is, Christians keep pushing their thumb down on the gay community.

I believe, as do most Christians I know, that the Bible presents no hierarchy when it comes to sin. Sin is sin is sin. No one sin is going to make you anymore “damned to hell” than another. The grace and forgiveness of Jesus Christ is for all, and covers every sin equally.

While it is certainly true being gay is as much a lifestyle as being straight, I don’t know that the lifestyle can honestly be represented as anymore sinful than, say, a person who enjoys gossip and does it on a regular basis. After all, remember that lack of hierarchy in sin. Gossip, witchcraft, failure to honor parents, adultery — all are listed.

But none of these sins has been singled out for the level of attack homosexuality has received. Consequently, I don’t know of a single American city that has an annual “Adulterer Pride” day with a big parade.

I believe the militant gay pride movement has been and remains a direct backlash to the hate, judgment and condemnation flung against the gay community in recent decades. It is my firm belief if Christians had responded to homosexuality by saying, “Well, my belief system says that it’s wrong. But as long as your lifestyle choices don’t infringe on my right to worship my God or live freely, we can co-exist happily,” our country would be a much different place.

Moreover, I don’t understand why this isn’t the way Christians reacted.

America is a very young country by global standards. Unless they’ve changed since I was in college, history books still reflect our founding fathers came here looking for relief from the oppression of a church state, where they could be free to worship God and allow others to do the same, peacefully and in understanding we were never all going to agree.

Never, never, never was America meant to be some sort of Protestant utopia, some safe hideaway where no one would ever live outside Biblical standards. Not only was that never the plan, but that ideal will never be able to exist as long as free will is still something fallible humans in this country can enjoy.

I’ll say it again: I firmly believe if conservative Christians had reacted to homosexuality with loving acceptance, we wouldn’t be living in this era of cultural warfare. I’m not saying Christians had to say, “Oh, OK. Well, if you like it that way, we’ll change our beliefs to accommodate you.” I’m saying we should have adopted a general attitude of “Live and Let Live.”

The legalization of same-sex marriage would have absolutely zero affect on my marriage to my husband. None. Nor would the legalization of same-sex marriage have any effect on other Christian marriages to come. Remember, the state-recognized contract is only part of the “institution” we recognize. In the church, we see our marriages as ordained by God, and we promise to live by the rules he set forth regarding that relationship.

But no one has ever told the non-believers of America that their marriages are unconstitutional, simply because they have nothing to do with our God. Of course they wouldn’t. That’s ridiculous. We cannot deny someone the right to spend their life with the person they love just because they don’t share our religious values.

Right now, there is nothing in the United States Constitution that bans the marriage of two adults of the same gender. The addition of such a measure would be nothing more than legalized discrimination, and I fear if such legislation is realized, it will backfire tremendously against those who fought so hard to gain it.

Discrimination, persecution, restriction of rights — these are all grease on an already slippery slope.

For more than a decade, Christians have been (and I think rightfully) upset their rights to public worship have been curtailed. The restriction of prayer in schools is still a huge hot-button issue, as it should be. But still, there has been no amendment to the Constitution regarding that movement, even though Congress has often had the support to pass it if they so chose. Can you imagine? An amendment to the Constitution that restricts a person’s right to live freely? How horrible.

Except that such an amendment is exactly what the addition of a heterosexual definition of marriage to the Constitution would be. Such a move would set a precedent of legalized discrimination. With history showing Christians tend to be on the losing end of court battles regarding worship restrictions, how long do you think it’d be before such a precedent was used to the severe detriment of the Christian community?

It is a dangerous time in our country, when God’s people are so actively pursuing the chance to restrict the rights of others. I am begging conservative Christians to join me in presenting the love, peace and acceptance our Lord did. Let’s focus on passing our values down to our children, while at the same time preparing them for a world that isn’t going to always agree with them. Let’s spend more time bettering ourselves — ridding our lives of the other sins on that list — and less time trying to make sure everyone else in the country follows our imperfect example.

The next four years are of the utmost importance, America. Let’s do our best to keep our country strong and united.