Manure statue a fitting tribute

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November 13, 2009

Phil Riddle, Democrat Editor

Anonymous The Weatherford Democrat Fri Nov 13, 2009, 02:19 PM CST

A New Zealand sculptor has crafted what many might view as the perfect tribute to politicians.

As a protest for a perceived soft stance on environmental issues, the artist, Sam Mahon, shaped the bust of New Zealand Environment Minister Nick Smith from cow manure.

Mahon’s choice of subject and medium, according to the Associated Press, was made out of his concern for pollution caused by dairy farms.

His reasoning aside, some disgruntled American voters might consider the work a classic tribute to bureaucrats, elected and otherwise.

Have you ever wondered why the grounds around government buildings are always surrounded by lush green lawns and healthy plants?

It’s because they have direct access to an unlimited flow of taxpayer-funded fertilizer.

Mahon shoveled the material for his sculpture from an organic dairy farm, then pulverized it in a coffee grinder.

Note to self: If you ever go to New Zealand, don’t have the coffee.

The artist then mixed the manure with a polymer resin and pressed it into a mold.

Another note to self: If you ever go to New Zealand, don’t drink the coffee and don’t shake hands with any politically active artists.

After the mix dried in the mold, Mahon polished it with beeswax to a finish that reportedly looks like bronze.

So, there is a statue that looks for all the world like bronze, and is actually made of meadow muffins.

How fitting.

Certain politicians, apparently even in New Zealand, offer constituents a load of bovine excrement disguised as, oh, I don’t know, an economic stimulus package of some sort, and expect them to believe it is of some inherent, lasting value, other than keeping the lawns of government buildings green.

There is another aspect of the dubious artwork that is, according to some, appropriate.

“The sculpture has a hollow head,” Mahon said, adding it is highly polished and sits slightly to the right of center.

And he swears it doesn’t smell.

What good is a load of fertilizer, even in the shape of a beleaguered Environment Minister?

More than you’d think.

An auction Web site reported the bust sold to an anonymous buyer for more than $3,000.

Sounds like the artist has more in common with his targeted politicians than he’d like to admit.

First, he unloaded a wheelbarrow full of dairy farm waste at art prices.

He now knows how high he can pile buffalo bagels and still get positive attention.

And he is convinced his manure doesn’t stink.

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The Air Force Academy recently graduated their first openly gay cadets. What does this signify?

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