—
Over a half a century ago down on the Pore Farm, we didn’t have Xboxes, Nintendos and other electronic entertainment systems. My generation played outside most of the time when conditions allowed — even the girls. During inclement weather, one of my favorite activities was reading. I could travel anywhere I wanted, the princesses were as pretty as I imagined, and the villains were as grotesque as I desired.
Just over a week ago as Helen and I traveled to Pflugerville, near Austin, to be with her mom for Thanksgiving, I was reminded of a story that I read as a small child — Billy Goat Gruff. Everywhere you look around Austin, there is a troll waiting to collect a toll. Most of you who are approximately my age will probably remember this book. For those unfamiliar with it, the Norwegian fairy tale tells of three male goats that had grazed their hillside meadow down to the point that they had to cross a river to reach green grass to eat. However, a fearsome troll lived under the bridge and he would eat anyone who tried to cross it. As the smallest billy goat tried to cross, the troll threatened to gobble him up. The small goat pleaded for mercy and told him the next goat was larger and fatter and would make a better meal. The troll agreed and allowed him to pass. The middle-sized goat used the same ploy, and he too was allowed to cross. The third goat was big and tough and he smacked the greedy troll and threw him into the icy waters below. The bridge was safe, everyone was happy, and the ugly troll was never seen again. This was a great story that taught children a great moral lesson about how good always conquers evil.
I personally like good things, but it seems that with all of them, they obviously must end. The dead troll was a good thing, but somehow the Austin political weasels have managed to clone him. Having been destroyed over 150 years ago, the evil troll and his putrid kin are now living under bridges across much of Texas. Around the Austin and Dallas areas, their proliferation has reached epidemic proportions.
Whether it was inspired by the billy goat fairy tale or another stimulus, I have always been repulsed by the concept of toll roads. Like an assault or robbery victim, I feel dirty and violated. Obviously, most Texans share my disgust, as evidenced by the furor over the Trans Texas Corridor. Most folks think that “troll” was thrown off the bridge, but I can assure you the debacle is alive and well — merely a slightly different pig with a new color of lipstick.
Despite explosive population growth, traffic congestion that rivals California, and deteriorating public roads, Texas gasoline road taxes have not been raised in over 20 years. These already anemic taxes are routinely diverted from road construction and are siphoned off to other squeaky wheels. The only solution as seen by our greedy and myopic politicians is to sell our highways to foreign investors, install electronic “troll nickel snatchers” every few miles, and be re-elected because they didn’t raise taxes.
I think it’s time to fill the Colorado River with Austin based trolls.
Larry M. Jones is a retired Navy Commander and aviator who raises cattle and hay in the Brock/Lazy Bend part of Parker County. Comments may be directed to nowhearthis@pwhome.com.
Viewpoints
COLUMN: Billy Goat Gruff
- Viewpoints
-
-
CNHI EDITORIAL: Seizure of AP phone records an insult to independent press
Distrust of government secrecy has been elevated to an exceptional level with the disclosure the Justice Department covertly examined two months of Associated Press phone records to determine who leaked details to the AP about a foiled terrorist plot.
-
NOW HEAR THIS: ‘What we’ve got here is a failure to communicate’
This famous quote addressing communication failure is a classic line from the 1967 movie “Cool Hand Luke,” starring Paul Newman. Strother Martin, who played the role of the warden in a southern prison, would use this phrase every time he gave Luke a good whack with his baton. The concept resonated so well with moviegoers that it was voted No. 11 of the 100 all-time favorite movie quotes according to the American Film Institute.
-
Letters to the Editor – May 19, 2013
Do you remember the “MISSION ACCOMPLISHED” sign that the personnel on the USS Abraham Lincoln displayed to greet President Bush when he went out to greet them?
-
Guest opinion: Campaign with honor
All politics is local and personal! I hope that you and your family have a wonderful summer, filled with relationship building experiences and times of relaxation. As you do all the things that re-charge us for the next round at work and involvement in community and political activities, let’s reflect on the 2013 local elections for a moment.
-
TISCIONE: Woe for calling evil good
You don’t often see “woe” used in an article. It’s a word that has fallen out of usage in our day. But it’s a word that ought to be understood and taken seriously.
-
Letters to the Editor – May 17, 2013
As mercury pollution threatens our waterways and carbon pollution-fueled climate change worsens extreme weather, we need someone in Washington who knows how to get things done.
-
Letters to the Editor – May 15, 2013
I just wanted to express my heartfelt thanks to the slobs, idiots and inconsiderate people who continually decorate the beautiful Texas landscape with their trash. I guess it’s really a form of art with beer bottles and cans, boxes, plastic drink containers, food packaging and just about anything else you can think of. It just doesn’t appeal to me. Thank you.
-
NOW HEAR THIS: Not by the hairs of my chinny chin chin
I had never really considered this possibility, but every one of the Three Little Pigs was almost certainly a guy. I know that assumption is not particularly popular from an equal opportunity standpoint, but the fact is fairly certain. How do I know? They all three had hair on their chinny chin chins.
-
ESTES: Securing a bright future for Texas
Texas businesses have created more than 500,000 jobs since November 2011. Our economy is growing nearly 50 percent faster than the rest of the country and our cost of living remains low.
-
TISCIONE: ‘It’s not about me’
“It is good to give thanks to the LORD, to sing praises to your name, O Most High; to declare your steadfast love in the morning and your faithfulness by night.”
- More Viewpoints Headlines
-
CNHI EDITORIAL: Seizure of AP phone records an insult to independent press
Looking for Love? Take the Prague Metro
Crews Race to Find Survivors of Okla. Twister
First Person: Baby Falcons on a New York Bridge
Oklahoma: Images of Devastation, Reunion
Reunited Dad, Son: 'We Just Praise God'
Slow Pokes: Acupuncture Helps Sick Turtles
Moore, Okla. City of Reunions, Tears After Storm
Former IRS Chief: Can't Say How List Happened
Gov. Fallin: Okla. Facing Horrific Disaster
Tim Cook Defends Apple's Tax Accounting
AP Photograher: 'It Was a Miracle' They Got Out
Raw: Crews Search for Survivors of Okla. Tornado
Raw: Tearful Reunion After Okla. Tornado
OKC Hospital Describes Treating Tornado Wounded
Obama Pledges Urgent Aid for Tornado Victims
Raw: Massive Funnel Clouds in Oklahoma
